Identity

The Hospital

I have such a love/hate relationship with the hospital. I for sure am thankful we have them, but I definitely don’t want me or my family to be there. Yet there’s this strange feeling of relief when you are. Its like your surrounded with a since of security. You know if a emergency happens you have everything you need right there. You feel capable of handling anything that comes your way. Not to mention the fact that you are literally forced to sit and do nothing because you have no choice but to do that right now. There’s also another side of it. The “What in the world is going on?” side. The feeling of how did it come to this. How did this all even happen? What signs did I miss? How could I have avoided this? The fear that something major will be wrong. The fear of judgment that you may receive about your decisions as a parent. The upset emotions that you feel because your baby is sick, but also the guilt that you feel because you are upset about it and after all “It could be much worse”. The feeling of being completely helpless. You have no choice but to depend on others for help. You have no choice but to accept the doctors recommendations and for the most part trust that his decisions for your child are the best ones. At times you feel moments of peace but other times its chaos. You look out the window and wonder what the rest of the world is doing and you almost feel as if its all another reality. After all your “Trapped” here. Once your admitted they don’t just let you go when you want. They have to discharge you first. Sometimes you get the answers you want and sometimes you don’t. When you really think about it no one goes to the hospital because they are well. They go because they are sick. They need help. They need access to medications, testing, and resources. As I sit here and type I think about the role God plays as the hospital for our soul. We don’t usually run to God when everything is great. We run to him when there’s a emergency. When something is wrong and we need help. Even though we may have missed some signs along the way that would have avoided us having a emergency, He still opens up his arms to us and gives us everything we need. He gives us spiritual medicine. He begins to heal us as long as we trust his decisions for our life. There’s times we may feel like we are going though test after test in life, but those test are refining us and providing the foundation to heal us of our worldly sins and desires. These test help us find the problem with our soul. We may have moments we look out the window and long for the “other world” but we have no way to get there unless he releases us. He has to make sure we are ready to handle it. That we are not only ready for the blessings that came with leaving the “hospital”, but that we are ready for a battle if we approach one. Once released we will have a new outlook on life. We should walk out a new person, not the hurting or angry person we were walking into his presence. I ask you today, Do you need to run to the hospital? Do you need a medical encounter with God? What do you need to do to renew in your mind. Maybe its a easy fix and you just need some medicine or it maybe a hard fix and some surgery might be needed. No matter what needs to happen, you will never get to see the world for what it is until you have chosen to run to the “hospital”. You will continue to get worse and worse until you have no other option but to go to him or choose death in your spirit. He wants to restore you but he cant go to your house and get you. You must run to him in the emergency, seeking his help and resources. If you go I promise you will not be released until you have been renewed. He has a plan and although you may wonder why or how you got here, I promise the hospital stay will all be worth it.

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