I Don’t Wanna Go!!!

You know those moments that you HAVE to do something for your business. It’s not a choice but a obligation. It could be the going to the post office, setting up at a vendor event, doing a party, or in my case going to the kitchen. You literally have to pick your self up and drag yourself to the car. That was me today!!!! I didn’t want to go. I was dragging my feet on preparing everything to leave. I drug it out so bad I ended up not being able to get all my supplies so I couldn’t do a full 8 batches at the kitchen. That frustrated me even more and made me even mad that I had to go. I just started bawling in my living room to my husband.

You see it’s been one of those weeks (ok few weeks) where I just felt defeated. I didnt feel like I could win in any area. I struggled with my patience for my kids. My desire to just escape the house. My amazing husband encouraged it but then I feel bad for not spending time with him. I struggled with my frustration of not being able to help a friend who’s going through a lot more than I am. I was dealing with the emotions of seeing everyone start to have their babies after I lost mine. I have being frustrated with dieting cuse I know that I just have to do it otherwise I’ll look back and say “Well I wasted all that time! I could be where I want by now if I would have just done it then.” I struggled with my business. I was getting frustrated with to much inventory of one thing and not enough of another. I was frustrated that no one could help me in the kitchen today. I started hearing lies from the Devil of “You dont need this business”, “Why are you doing it anyway? Your not making a profit this year”, “Your taking time away from everyone else”, “Your being selfish”, “You wont succeeded with all the regulations anyways”. I could go on and on!!!!! However, I HAD TO GO! I had orders to fill and knew there were people depending on my product. I kicked my feet all the way there.

I’m here now. I’ve finished the first half of my work and now have a moment of peace. I play worship music while I work and anytime really. Today was different. Sometimes I sing along but today I’ve been quite. What I didnt realize until this moment was my spirtual cup was empty. I needed it filled. While I was moaning and groaning about having to work today God knew what he was doing. He was giving me some quite time by myself to just listen to the words of the music and let it fill my soul. To just have a moment where I had no distractions and nothing to focuse on except hearing his words.

I know somedays are hard. I know running a business is hard. What I know most though is that just showing up is the hardest part. Once you show up things just kick in a little. Your there and your mind and body just do what has to be done. The same is true with your relationship with God. You just have to show up. Once your there he can begin to fill your spirit. Then you just start doing what God calls you to. I encourage you. Keep showing up! Show up for God, your family, friends, and business. Find the blessings God gives you in each one and let that fill your soul.

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