Miscarriage

Finding Some Closure

January 1, 2019-

Finally feeling like I closed a chapter and am ready for a new one. I was talking to a friend today and she pointed out and asked if I knew what bees actually do. We talked for a minute about how they are so tiny but have such a huge impact on the environment around them. It’s amazing how small our Baby Bee was but how huge of a impact it made on our family. There is so much good that has come from Baby Bee. The main focus for me during the pregnancy was to prepare my home to be more functional, cleaner, and easy to maintain. Ideally I was preparing for a home birth. I was so scared that I would not be able to do it. That I would never have all main rooms clean at one time. That my environment would feel chaotic and stressful for a birth. However even through the loss I still worked for it. I knew that I had started a journey in this pregnancy that I had to complete. Whole my house is still not perfect, I cant proudly say “I’m leave for a VK with all main rooms of my house clean!!!” There is not even laundry to come home to. After getting all the cleaning was done (which was the original goal for the homebirth that I never thought I would complete) we got to celebrate the short time we did get to have with Baby Bee and the impact it had on us. We got this beautiful planter/bee house in remembrance of our Baby Bee. Mason bees (non stinging) will lay eggs and birth there babys in the bamboo shoots on the bottom. Planted in the top is all kinds of pollination flowers that will hopefully bloom in the spring. We are looking forward to nature receiving life from the remembrance of Baby Bee. We are now in the car on the way to the airport to Colorado for a week of family bonding and to refresh our minds and souls to see what the Lord has for us for 2019. Thank you everyone who has poured into us during this time. The words of encouragement, meals, and gifts. Our village is amazing and we could not be more thankful.

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